3:03 p.m. - Wednesday, Apr. 04, 2018
Sardiniaaaaaa
We’re going to Sardinia for a week in May. I spent three days on booking.com trying to secure the best affordable accommodation. I am a bit of an expert on that website. I just love booking tons of hotels and then cancelling them. Coincidentally my friend Katie - who thought Daniel was “really sexy” is also going to be there at the same time with her boyfriend so we have arranged to meet up halfway through our hols in a nice beach resort and hire a boat together for a day to explore the hard to reach beaches.
It’s six weeks away though and I don’t know when I am going to see Daniel before that. He said not to worry about it and of course my paranoid brain read that as him not being that bothered about seeing me. Flights are getting expensive and I am holding out for some work to come through in London before I book.
I am feeling a bit deflated at the moment actually. We haven’t had much quality contact recently. I know he’s busy with his family a lot of the time but he skyped me from the bath two nights ago and he was so sleepy he barely spoke. Then he cut the conversation short because his Uncle was calling him. It kinda left me hanging. He said he would write to me instead but then he didn’t. I haven’t heard from him since. I haven’t sent him a message either and I won’t. Also he hadn’t written me a love letter back yet as he said he would. Saying “I don’t know what to write.” I suppose his over the top gestures in the beginning were always going to set me up for disappointment later. I am just wondering if now he has committed to this holiday with me he is having doubts. Or maybe he just needs space. Or maybe everything is fine and I am just having a normal reaction to the phases of a relationship. It’s common to feel fear once you have fallen for someone. That blissful feeling of being loved up turns to vulnerability and fear of losing that person. Aaargh! Gotta keep myself occupied. I feel OK really. Been through the relationship mill a few too many times.
Yesterday I made myself a beach bag for the holiday. My first major sewn piece. It’s actually pretty good for a first effort. Not perfect but looks great! Sewing is pretty easy , I just need a decent machine. It tooks me hours to complete but that’s because my beginners machine kept fucking up and needing rethreading. Tedious. Luckily I have a lot of time and patience.
