12:03 a.m. - Thursday, Mar. 08, 2018
Oh Dan
Good day today. The company I am at offered me more work immediately after my contract ends which I turned down but they were really singing my praises and want me in the future for short term help so that’s ideal. The fools. Don’t they realise I am just winging it?
Then Daniel texted me to meet for a coffee but he took me to a basement cocktail bar which was totally swinging. Literally, the lamps were swinging over the bar and the bar staff were dressed up in wigs and disco attire. At 6pm on a Wednesday night. I love London. It was really noisy though so we went elsewhere after two pricey cocktails. To a lovely pub in Fitzrovia with an old geezer behind the bar. I love the pubs in that area. I hope to make new happier memories of them to erase the desperate ones I have with Married Man. It’s only now I can see it wasn’t love what I had with him.
He’s really growing on me, the conversation flowed easily and he asked me how I viewed his character which was a sweet intimate moment where I could express my feelings for him without making myself vulnerable. I told him that he wasn’t needy and that was really rare and how I had had so much trouble with needy men in the past. Was it that I attracted them? He said it was probably because I was so caring and open and that made people needy and insecure. They just couldn’t help it. Then we walked to the station and he stopped me in the street to snog me. God I love it. He really feels like my match. I am edging towards allowing myself to accept this and get on with it without fear. Maybe he really is into me. It’s a real test for not thinking about the future. If he likes me now I may as well enjoy it while it lasts. He said he’s really looking forward to my party. So he’s definitely coming. It’s all looking a bit too good to be true.
