11:43 a.m. - Sunday, Jul. 03, 2016
Oil painting
I spent the whole day painting yesterday. I have a long journey ahead if me. It could take years to find my style, my thing. I have never used oil paint before but I can't use acrylics in the Spanish heat, they dry instantly. So I have to get used to this new medium and practice patience. The drying time is quicker than in the UK but I still have to wait at least half a day before applying the next layer and I am used to working quickly. On a good day I could produce a piece of abstract work in an hour, although that has only happened a few times. Like an unexpected vomit. I miss that feeling of creative surprise. It's been a long time but it can only happen if you actually engage with the materials. Do the work!
The good thing is because I have to wait for the paint to dry it forces me to work on more than one painting at a time. My target is to produce 16 paintings by the time I leave Spain. I think 16 is a good number, perfect for an exhibition and acheivable if most of them are small.
I have been reading about the German painter and Turner Prize winner Tomma Abts. Her work is insane. Very strange abstracts and always 48x38cm. Her process is painstakingly slow. She overpaints in oils until an image forms and they are very tight, neat images. She has a show now in London with works that have may have taken years to complete. I don't know how she does it. The patience needed to keep working on something having no idea how it will turn out... Well, I get frustrated if I don't have something pleasing at the end of the day. She was only able to support herself with her art since 2002, she really stuck at her vision and it's paid off, I wish I had that much faith in myself. Unfortunately I carry too much anxiety about having to support myself financially. I think the answer is to quit my career and find something more stable with normal hours. Even if it pays less money, I need a routine and stability, othewise I can't focus on what I really want to do. It's a complete mystery to me how people manage to prolifically produce art and keep a roof over their head. I know most artists are wealthy or have some kind of financial support but what about the rest? It's a problem I have been trying to solve for all of my adult life. If you work you don't have time and if you only work part time then how can you pay the rent? When I return to the UK maybe I should live outside of London, that's seems to be the only way I can afford to be an artist. Unfortunately anywhere that is affordable seems to be full of Brexiteers. It's hard to be positive.
