5:02 p.m. - Monday, May. 30, 2016
Back to the drawing board
I didn't get the job I applied for. Not even an interview. I feel OK about it. I didn't expect to be successful, though a part of me felt like I was due some good luck. Life isn't a movie though. I feel good for having tried, at least I know I am not good enough yet. So it's back to my old role. Bah! Maybe I will enjoy it this time round because there might be some work to do. I just want to learn so I can earn more and feel more confident in the future. It's really taken me so long to get anywhere and I don't think it's completely to do with being a bit technically lacking but all of my fellow classmates from the course I did 7 years ago are doing really well and not all of them were that amazing. Guess what, they are all male. It never occurred to me until I read about another female's experience in this industry where she stated that production and HR is predominantly made up of women who sadly appear to be discriminatory against other women. I don't want to believe that or use it as an excuse but of course it is possible. Life is just a constant battle, fortunately I love a good fight but perhaps I am wasting my energy and talent on something I shouldn't be doing.
My friend sent me a link to a housing co op in South East London. I got quite enthusiastic about the idea of applying but with a little bit of research I found out that you might be sharing a house with 8 other people. You get your own small room but have to share the kitchen and bathroom. It's cheap though. £250 a month all in. Incredible. You have to help run the place though and all that hippy stuff. I could possibly manage it for a while, especially if I was working and saving money and with my studio up the road I would have more space. I want to return to London eventually but I am worried about the cost of living. I don't want to come back to a shitty living situation. The way things are going I might have to go full on nomad. I don't like anything in between. I am quite binary like that. Settled or nomad... which is better? Nomad would be better for my writing but settled would be great for my painting.
