12:56 a.m. - Monday, May. 23, 2016
Trying
I spent the weekend working on my reel as I plan to enquire about this other job in another department tomorrow. I have to think positive but I also have to be prepared for another dissapointment and not let it make me more depressed. I feel better for having dragged myself through this last episode and doing some work and even if nothing comes from this I am now more prepared for the next opportunity. It's not bloody easy to get what you want. I have been banging my head against a brick wall for the last 6 years and I really should be doing better. My Spanish is awful right now too which makes me feel useless, but it's because I am not well and trying to sort my crappy career out. Am I too hard on myself? Will I ever be satisfied?
Got my EU referendum application form in the post the other day. I was certain we should remain but now I have watched a few right wing videos on Youtube and I am starting to get confused. I think I am becoming more right wing in my old age. The thing is both sides have strong arguments, if we leave then our country should be more democratic and we will have more control but it's all unknown. No one has ever left the EU before. If we leave then everyone else that is struggling will want to as well. So they won't let it happen, it will be rigged anyway. I filled my form out in blue ink rather than black ink as stated. Do you think it matters?
I think I have tinnitus.
