3:54 p.m. - 2003-05-27
Bored, lonely, frustrated... I could go on
2003-05-27 - 3:54 p.m.
My room is next to the toilets and the sink. Every morning a Korean man coughing and spitting his lungs up wakes me up at 6.30am. It�s so loud and disgusting. He does it from the moment he�s awake until bedtime. I really can�t bear it; it makes me feel sick. I hope he isn�t staying long. I'm having the worst time at the moment. I'm at a crossroads now. The last three months have been amazing fun, I've been very frivolous, but because of that I have little money left, so I need to get a job. Anyone that knows me will realise that I am not very good at job hunting. I get very negative and frustrated and start to believe that the whole world is against me. The annoying thing about Oz is that you can't even walk straight into a bar job, you have to do a one day course to get a certificate that costs $90 to do. I guess I'll have to do it because, surprise surprise, there isn't much office work around. I don't think I've ever gone to a recruitment agency that did have work. I hate them. They're always run by smug little bitches that I'm sure can see straight through my pretence that I actually want to work. I wouldn't get the job anyway because there's always going to be some well-groomed speed typer that will get offered work before me.
I am pretty useless, I don't really have any useful skills and I have a bad attitude. Work really is a dirty, four-letter word to me.
I might just get out of here and go and work on a farm. Sydney is just too much like London, cold and hectic. I came travelling to escape those stresses. I wish I was back in Wanaka now, I really miss New Zealand. I should have got a work permit there.
So, maybe I'll get a flight to Melbourne. Everyone tells me it's much more laid back than Sydney is, with more in the way of Arts and cafe culture. Maybe I can get a job there. Sydney is just too big and it takes AGES to cross the road. They have the most inefficient traffic lights in the world. For example, the pedestrians and the traffic lights will stay red so everyone is just standing there like lemons, just waiting. That's why I never get anything done!
So much for Isabel taking on the big city. I am learning a lot about myself though; I'm treating this trip as a holiday rather than as a travelling thing. It just doesn't feel right to be looking for work, especially when I could earn more in London. A tip to anyone who is thinking of travelling: save as much as you can before you go, even if it means postponing your departure. Trust me, you won't be in the mood to work when you haven't done so for 3 months!
On a positive note, I'm going out to dinner tomorrow night with some friends of a friend back home. Maybe they can give me some insider advice.
A few days later... I'm still at K*risk*indl, that weird guesthouse. Its OK, I've got used to it. Sam, my roommate has now left, she turned out to be a Christian. I found a folder of hers with that fish symbol on it and inside it, articles with titles such as: "Which is The Best Saint?" So now I have a twin room to myself, although I had to move out this morning just for one night, because a group of American Missionaries are staying. What a combination! It's bloody annoying, just as I was getting settled too. John put me in the laundry room next to the office.
I got spooked out last night, I had just settled into bed with my new book and I had the radio on. I was reading a passage about Socrates taking the hemlock, when this philosopher being interviewed on the radio compared himself to the same Greek Philosopher and they started talking about the whole hemlock incident. It was such a coincidence that I thought it was a sign or something. It�s amazing, I just happened to go into that bookstore, pick that book, out of all the books I could have bought. I could have gone to bed much later than I did (I had a very early night), and I could have been listening to another radio station. Isn't that incredible?
I think I need to get out more.
