3:14 a.m. - Saturday, Feb. 17, 2018
Valentines Day poem
I went to Zaragoza on Wednesday to visit my longest running friend (known since about 4 years old) and her baby girl who is 5 months old. She is a cute baby but three days of baby talk is too much for me. I was so happy to be on a train to Madrid back to my freedom. I had to go straight out after dropping my bag off and meet Juan just to make the most of this freedom I take for granted. We had a couple of beers then he asked me if I wanted to go back to his and copy some Spanish language course onto my USB stick. How could I resist? I am very very keen to learn Spanish this year...
We went back and smoked a spliff and he sat next to me on the sofa and I knew what was coming. I was about 20% into it and when he moved in to kiss me I didn’t move away but only because I wanted to see how I felt. I didn’t like it. It felt strange and wrong. Like I was disconnected. I have had that feeling before when I have fallen for someone else, it’s a good indicator of your emotional desire for someone. I want Daniel, as far as I can know right now. He sent me the poem on Valentines Day via email because he said he was waiting for something else before he could post me the letter so I got it electronically. Which was fine. I read it after having drunk half a bottle of red wine at lunchtime with the menu del dia and I almost fainted. It was so beautiful and melancholy and written for me, about me, after our one night stand (as it currently stands) that I was so deeply touched but in a sexual way too. It wasn’t a mushy sentimental poem but a sexy, passionate and also lovely poem. I just fell for him then. How could I not? It’s such a unique and special thing to do. We chatted on whatspp into the night and at one point he asked me what I would call my cat if I had one. He’s too good to be true, no?! Btw I would call him Lord Percy of Percington. Inspired by Blackadder of course.
Anyway, back to Juan... I stopped snogging him and looked shy and unsure and he asked me if I was ‘timido’ and I said no and explained that I had feelings for another. It’s so much better to be honest. His reaction was very positive and cool and he said he liked a special girl too but she wasn’t so interested and she lived far away. We are going to be friends and see what happens with my toyboy and our friendship, which could develop into something more if my heart get broken by Daniel.
