4:52 p.m. - 2003-07-18
Am I going or what?
Wednesday 2nd July
July, oh July! Already, I can�t believe I came to K*risk*indl in May. I�m getting desperate to leave now. I�m even bored of reading; things must be bad. I need to do something! I was going to go into the city and join the WWOOFing scheme today but it was raining. I feel like the walls are closing in! Randy is leaving tomorrow. I�ll miss his lovely eyes and dimples and cute smile. Another cute guy is here somewhere, he arrived on Sunday and I think he is English. I only saw him at breakfast today and I was too shy to talk to him. I�m desperate for something. Alexandra has an admirer in Joseph, the Yorkshireman. He is her intellectual equal, a very sweet old man (old enough to be her father at 74). He gave her a kiss and asked her out on a date just before he left for Adelaide. He is coming back and even rang K*risk*indl to check that she hadn�t run away. She keeps saying "how old do I have to be!" She was quite looker in her youth and she was never taken seriously because of that. She was so relieved to lose her looks (she still looks great to me, very striking), but she still gets advances, which she hates. She is divorced from her husband who is schizophrenic but they are still close friends.
I�m bored. I look forward to sleep because my dreams are so much more exciting than real life. Though last night I dreamt I was in a second hand clothes shop trying on visors. I couldn�t decide between the green one and the pink stripy one. Although the yellow was rather nice too. Yes, I think I will look out for a yellow and pink visor.
I�m listening to a new MD that Jami sent me. He sent me two. One is Freescha, ambient electronica. Very good, and the other is Aphex Twin 26 Mixes� He is going to Japan mid July.
Thursday 3rd July �03
I got an email from my ex. He sent it a few days ago. He says he got my email address from part guesswork, although he should bloody have it anyway. He didn�t say much; just checking it was me. Stupidly I emailed him back, because I have been thinking about emailing him lately. I now realise I�m going to get regular updates on his emotional state, which I don�t need to know.
I got a wickedly sexy pic of Randy today, just before he left. He was lighting a ciggie and looking at me with those eyes. He looked like a movie star. That made my day!
Monday 7th July �03
Alexandra had another talk with John about Linda. She�s been calling her Poison Ivy behind her back and taking the piss out of her German accent. She's terrifying. She is known as the Poison Dwarf. He came over at lunch and told us about the difficulties he�s had over the years trying to find good co-workers. Apparently they�ve been running K*risk*indl as a guesthouse for 14 years! John �praised� my work and was especially grateful that I wasn�t mad and didn�t abuse people while they were having their breakfast. Another annoying habit of Linda's is to walk around with her headphones on singing along really badly and at the top of her voice.
This place is up for sale. It�s on the market for $4 million! That�s far too much, surely. It�s a dump, but big I suppose. Lots of possibilities for it. It�s been on the market for 18 months now. He�s desperate to sell, but who�d want it? The house that John and his wife Marie live in is gorgeous, but the hostel is a dump. I think it would be perfect as artist�s studios.
Thursday 10th July03
I�m leaving K*risk*indl! Next Saturday in fact. I was contacted by this guy called Rick on the WWOOF forum. He is driving from Sydney to Cairns and wants to share petrol costs. I�m desperate to get out of Sydney and head north to get some sun. It�s 30C in Cairns and only 13C here! So I met him yesterday afternoon and we got on really well. We had couple of drinks and had quite a laugh. I�m just relieved he�s not a Christian (I managed to find out) and smokes weed. He is a 25 yr old Englishman who has just split up with his girlfriend. I�m getting really excited about moving on. I�ve been highlighting loads of farms I want to stay at. Some sound fantastic, while others sound weird. I�m avoiding the people who only eat raw food and practice things like �emotional release�. Sounds intense.
There are a few places I definitely want to visit, one place near Byron Bay, the guy there needs help building a strawbale house (my dream!). Another alludes to smoking weed; nearly all the others state no drugs. There are a few textile designers who do screen printing that I could gain some experience from.
Sylvia came into our room last night. She is very paranoid and unhappy here. She is writing a book and is interested in astrology. She thinks there are cameras in the rooms and is suspicious of everyone. She thinks people slam doors to annoy her. I also found out that Ray, a divorcee, has been here three years! Jesus Wept! I think a lot of divorcees and widowers come here because they can�t look after themselves after their wives leave them.
Sunday 13th July
I am still bored and desperate to leave. Now Alexandra knows I�m leaving on Saturday she feels the same way. I�ve had enough; this last week will be hard.
I�m even homesick, I miss the history and culture, just the vibe of London. I can�t put my finger on it. It�s a unique and special place. I think about Rome a lot too. I�d love to be there right now, sitting by the Trevi Fountain eating Gelato. Just stepping into the street would be incredible; it�s so rich in romance. Here is just so uninspiring. There is nothing special here except the beaches. I went for a walk to Cook�s River just down the road. There is a little park by the highway. It was very depressing. There is absolutely nothing to see around here, except the Bus and Truck Museum and I couldn�t even find that. Alexandra has invited me to stay at her house in Brisbane. It sounds lovely; I have a clear picture of it in my mind. It has a swimming pool. I don�t know how I would have coped here without her. I probably wouldn�t have stayed. She feels the same way, there is no one else here I could have possibly have coped sharing a room with. The majority are mad or deeply religious. I�ve been lucky. I�m looking forward to having an uninterrupted nights sleep when I leave. I always wake up at around 5am due to some early morning activity in the house somewhere.
This morning the nun woke us with her praying. There is also an unidentified person who stomps around above us constantly, day and night. It sounds like they are wearing heavy boots or picking up the corner of the bed and dropping it on the floor. It�s so weird. The paranoid Sylvia has moved out, she just left with her bossy daughter. She thinks that the skywriting planes that advertise products are the secret service and has something to do with her because they are always above her � wherever she is. She is also very superstitious and has to sleep with her head pointing NW, because it makes her warmer. A perfect description of this place is as a �refuge for displaced persons�. One thing it has taught me is to appreciate simple pleasures. Today all I yearned for was to be curled up on a comfy sofa with a cup of tea and maybe some muffins or crumpets, watching the Eastenders Omnibus, or a classic old movie. Alternatively, I could see myself sitting in a pretty English garden with friends drinking sparkling cold white wine or cider. Because, at this moment in time, being here makes that impossible. It really is like being imprisoned.
2003-07-18 - 4:52 p.m. Friday
I'm sitting in this Internet 'cafe' (with not a bacon buttie in sight - but I can smell fish) waiting for my phone to ring. I'm supposed to be going up the coast to Cairns Rick and a Geordie. Unfortunately he had his car nicked so he is buying another today. Thank the Lord for credit. We want to leave tomorrow, but it is 5pm and not a word yet. A girl could get paranoid! Our plan is to go and work on an adventure centre while it is closed for two weeks.
I am in limbo and I don't like it, plus I've told everyone at the hostel I am leaving tomorrow. Maybe I should stop being so tight and call him myself. Alexandra is taking over my mopping when I leave. Strange to think she may be famous in a couple of year�s time.
