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3:47 p.m. - 2004-01-13
Laos
Arrived in Laos about a week ago,

Laos seems to be a country of errors for me so far. After the first day on the Mekong (very uncomfortable) we stopped at a tiny town called Patbeng. As we moored up I could see all the hostel owners squatting on the wall like a row of vultures waiting for our arrival. I had to climb up a number of steps away from the dusty 'beach' and got chatting to a couple of British lads. We were taken to a guesthouse run by a strange fellow who looked like he was wearing lipstick. He offered to sell me some weed within minutes after signing in. So I had a look and it was very twiggy and seedy, but I said I'd like to try some first. So I kept the bag in my room and went for a smoke by the river with the boys. It was good weed, so I paid him 400 baht. I actually gave him 500 but he never gave me the change. He was very shifty. I was being ripped off with 400 baht as it was so I stole his ashtray later that night when I was drunk (doesn't excuse theiving, I know). The three of us bought our first bottles of Beer Lao which I'd heard was very tasty. We got nicely stoned and sat on the hostel balcony trying to ignore all the local opium sellers congregating beneath us. At about 7.30pm there was a blackout and we got the candles out of our rooms. It was quite a surreal night. The hostel owner kept spying on us and singing to us which was annoying. I think he was high. The hostel was a weird place, the toilets were in the basement and going down there in the dark with just a candle to light the way was creepy. It was like going into the dungeon. I didn't want to bump into our strange little friend in the middle of the night either. We did have a fantastic night, just sitting there chatting and giggling. Even though I would have got a better deal on the weed in Vang Vieng, it was worth it just to have it that night. I really felt like I was in a very different place where anything bizarre could happen. Later in the evening a coach with no passengers drove past us, down the road and then stopped and turned around and came past us again. We were confused because as far as we knew, there were no roads going out of Patbeng; that's why we had to take a slow boat. Maybe it was the local bus that went from one end of town to the other or was just used as entertainment for the locals, to make a change from travelling on boats. Patbeng has a unique atmosphere. It's so cut-off from everywhere and feels almost post- apocolyptic. What with the black outs, the dusty road and dozens of stalls selling Pringles. Anyway, the ashtray I stole is wicked. It's the head of a bearded man carved out of wood and looks like it is cursed. Well, my first day in Luang Prabang was a day of errors for me, including falling flat on my arse in the only muddy puddle in the whole town. I had to walk back to the hostel with both cheeks almost dripping with mud. It was a pure comedy moment. That'll teach me to steal from the poor.

Back to Patbeng. The next morning we had to be up early to catch the boat to Luang Prabang. The only snacks for sale, as I mentioned before seemed to be overpriced Pringles. They seem to think that's all Westerners eat. We bought our ticket for the second part of the journey for only 300 baht. The first part had cost 260 baht. A lot of idiots had paid 1200 baht for the whole journey through agents and were paying more than double for the same service! I mean, why would you buy a ticket for a service in Laos, in Thailand? Of course it will cost you more. I'm pretty daft but even I knew that it would be cheaper to buy it direct, even though it wasn't easy. No one in the border town of Huay Xai would tell me where to catch the boat unless I bought a ticket from their brother, sister, uncle or whatever. Even the tourist office made out that they didn't know where the port was. I sneaked a look at their map and figured out that it was walking distance and going upstream.

The slow boat broke down on the second day and we had to be towed, it took me 5 days of travel in all to get to the UNESCO heritage listed town of Luang Prabang. It is a stunning place, colonised by the French in the Seventies. Watched the sunset from the Wat on the hill. Stunning scenery of rolling hills and mountains and the Mekong river. It has buckets of charm and lots of good bakeries left by the French. I ate Wild boar steak too and it was so good! Also ate my first bacon baguette here. Heaven!

After starving all day on the boat the three of us chose a cheap looking Chinese resturant to have our feast. We waited over half an hour for fried rice and when the meals came they were wrong. Steve got Tofu instead of beef and he HATES tofu, and none of us got rice. So we ordered 3 steamed rice, and that took forever and we only got one between us. Strange. The grandma at our hostel was lovely and kept talking to us even though we couldn't understand. She tied white thread around my wrists and sang a song. Apparently that was for good luck. I needed it. Maybe that will ward off the evil spirits from my cursed ashtray. I have to wear them until I get home.

Went to a waterfall 30 kms out of town the next day, a three tier beauty.

Then yesterday caught the bus to the backpacker town of Vang Vieng, 6 hours of driving through amazing mountains and tiny villages perched on the roadside and arrived just before sunset. Ian ordered a cheese burger at the Riverside cafe and got a cheese sandwich. I went back to my guesthouse to have a shower to find there was no running water and reception was closed. However, it is very serene here, with a great setting by the river and the craggy limestone mountains behind. I don't think there is much to do though and I might hop on another bus and go further north. I don't really want to do the 2 days on the Mekong again.

I miss Pai too... Oh, and there is a Pizzeria here called Give Pizza a Chance, Ho Ho.

 

 

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