12:08 a.m. - Wednesday, Sept. 09, 2020
Back dating. It was a good one
I had a good date on Friday. I had almost given up on dating apps but I absentmindedly opened one of the apps and saw I had a notification on a match. They give you 24 hours to respond then you lose them. Unless you pay. It was a guy I'd swiped right on a couple of months ago and he had changed his photos but I recognised him as someone I had been very drawn to. Probably coz he looked normal but cool. He had some photos of him in a punk band. He's the drummer... Anyway after some chit chat he invited me out and booked a place for dinner. Very proactive. Big tick there.
In the end the reservation at the expensive place fell through coz of something to do with giving his credit card details and we ended up having ceviche and pisco sours elsewhere which was very nice.
He was easy to talk to, laughed at my jokes. He laughed more at me than I did at him. Taller than me and very importantly had nice arms and hands and not hairy. I was praying he would pay because I have had no income since December and he did. He was a gentleman. Because everything shuts at 1am now because of coronavirus we went back to his and I suppose he seduced me and I ended up sleeping with him. Also he’s safe coz he has had corona already. He was good in bed, very attentive and obviously not influenced by porn like some of the younger guys i have been with. but apparently he was feeling really ill throughout because of the weed vape we shared. It's a shame I got drunk because I can't remember everything. I wasn’t that drunk but ya know, it was hazy in a nice way. I didn’t think “wow he’s so hot” but I did feel very comfortable with him. I think he could be a grower. He’s kind of cute, confident without being a show off. Laid back...
I think we'll see each other again but I have a feeling he is looking for someone younger because I'm sure his profile originally said he wanted kids. He's my age (in fact only 10 days older, a fellow pisces) financially stable, works as an engineer. Has a nice big flat though not to my taste in decor at all but clean and tidy (probably has a cleaner). Must. Not. Judge. He's nice. Makes music, really smart. I guess he's a catch. I dunno. I'm starting to question how picky I should be. At my age I think you need to start being more pragmatic. I'm not the catch I once was because of fertility. It's quite sobering.
I'm slightly ashamed that money is important to me but I just want some stability in my life. I want a man with a job, a car and a generous spirit. I’ve never dated anyone ‘very successful in a professional way’ before. There are plenty of guys near my age still living with their parents I'm sure. Especially here in Spain. I should have hooked a rich guy when I was young and given him kids. I'm only talking like this because I'm unemployed and worried I will run out of savings before the next gig. Sick of this situation. I'm waking up with no reason to get out of bed and I can just lay there listening to the clock ticking. Literally hearing my life passing me by.
