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1:59 a.m. - Sunday, Apr. 26, 2020
Flying Solo for the Foreseeable
It’s just sinking in that I’m unlikely to meet any new people anytime soon and I live for those serendipitous moments. It’s what gives me hope, even though I’m fairly introverted I have an interest in making new friends regardless of the fact I’m very fussy. I hesitated before killing a drain fly earlier thinking “you’re my only friend here now, goodbye old friend.”
But it’s the thought of not having any romantic excitement injecting my life that is hard to bear. I’m OK now because I’m focused on myself and achieving goals but what about in 6 months? I’m gonna be desperate for some company. After a while your own company gets dull, however much you love yourself.

The news that they will let us exercise after May 2nd actually depressed me. All my Madrid based friends thought it was great news. I just thought so what? It’s not enough. Everything will still be shut. Life out there will be sad and dull. Unless they open the park it makes no difference to me. I can go for a longer walk and work off this small muffin top at least.

I’ve been reminiscing about the Albanian I dated. He was the sexiest guy I’ve ever been with and now probably will ever be with. I wish I was locked down with him. I’m tempted to message him. Maybe he’s single and we can flirt and send each other hot selfies. But that’s dangerous and a bit sad isn’t it? He probably thought I was an idiot middle aged woman clinging onto her last few years of youth. Funny that I still feel 10 years younger

Life is short. The good bits anyway. Savour them. I’ve been with a lot of men and probably only really fancied 3 of them. That’s why I’m not into dating. Is that because there’s something wrong with me..?



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