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7:26 p.m. - Sunday, Jan. 12, 2020
Two days to go
I woke up early and slightly nauseous again this morning. Early enough to catch Vinnie before he was asleep. So I sent him a text and he said I was feeling like that because I was anxious and that his evening had been fine but he needed a texting break and that we should have designated texting times to save our sanity. Wish I hadn't sent that text. Lol. I kinda agree but it annoyed me a bit because we only have two more days until we see each other and we can discuss that after we see how we get on in real life. Also I have been trying not to text too much and waiting for him to contact me first each day. It was him who texted as soon as he woke up yesterday so I'm not at fault here. Not that is what he was implying. Anyway it's no big deal, though he hasn't texted me today and it's 19.30. Here in Madrid. This time difference is a real fucker. It's ok at the moment because I'm not working but once I am we will have very small windows to communicate. I get a bit down thinking about the reality of this situation sometimes. It's going to be very difficult to continue with all the pining. But what can you do? Break off contact with someone who feels do right? We've got an emotional connection already and we haven't even spent more than two days together. I guess intimacy comes easier and feels more intense through the written word. That's how people fall in love online. It's still real.
I started packing today. Lots of jumpers. Bought a new pair of woollen cullottes which were expensive but I lack bottom level clothing. So just pottering around until I fly. It's a very surreal time I'm having living in this limbo. I feel like I'm simply existing right now. Not healthy and will inevitably heighten any attraction I already have for V.

He sent me his screenplay the other night. It's actually really good. I just loved him even more after that. He's gonna make a movie! He's really a smart guy. God I can't wait to wrap him up in my arms real tight.

 

 

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