12:43 a.m. - Sunday, Dec. 08, 2019
Back in Madrid
I'm finally home in Madrid after 7 weeks working in London. It was great professionally. The work was easy and fun, I am really pleased to be back in with this one particular company that work in house. They don't take it too seriously and everyone is just so funny. I've missed British banter. Hopefully I can get more work with them next year. I need to find a better accommodation solution whilst I'm there I think. It would have been fine staying at my mates mostly because she was supposed to be away most of the time but work kept her in London more than expected and we had to share an airbed for a couple of weeks until her real bed arrived. She just bought this flat in South London and she has no internet either. My sister won't have me for too long coz I think her boyfriend doesn't like it. Fair enough... I just don't feel too welcome. Trouble is rent is so high. I need to put my rate up. Maybe if we win an Oscar for this film I can! It's been nominated for 7 animation awards so far. The reaction to it on Twitter etc has been amazing. It's being hailed a new Christmas Classic. So proud to have worked on a decent film finally. A true work of art.
So I'm really happy to be in my own bed, I love my flat, though I came back to find the lock to the main door had been changed again. I had to get new ones from this sweet little old lady on the 5th floor. I want to be her friend but she has grandchildren, she doesn't need another one. Haha.
I've made the huge life changing decision to not get my home internet reinstated after my old flatmate closed her account. I'm sick of how much time I waste on it. I still have mobile phone data but I really think it will help. I already feel calmer and more clear headed. Plus I will save over £500 a year. I can download content and watch offline anyway. I have to do this painting and focus. I need to get back in touch with who I am and my own thoughts not others opinions. I don't even have any hobbies. Browsing the internet is a hobby now...
Spanish boyfriend hasn't read my texts today after I got back. I can't believe he doesn't check his phone for 12 hours. He knows I'm back today. I'm going to have to finish with him. I won't be played like this. Were obviously not crazy about each other. I need to take control of my life and fucking steer it away from a future full of regret and loneliness. Time is running out. I need friends, a lover, a family, money and my own place. Terrified of having to share again. I rang my old lodger today. Quite telling I called him and not Boyfriend. Although I did ring bf 6 times in the last 6 weeks and he never picked up. So I give up. Lodger is in Tenerife for his new job. We miss each other. He's the only person that fucking gets me, who really seems to see me... Funny, he's 20 years older but what difference that make? I probably would have fancied him 20 years ago but luckily I don't now. We get on so well. You don't meet people like that very often. Someone who is easy company and provides stimulating conversation. Basically someone who is laid back but nice, smart and funny. I like those types of people.
