2:00 a.m. - Thursday, Jul. 25, 2019
Love or democracy. What would you choose?
It’s been a long time coming but the shit has finally hit the fan with the announcement of Boris Johnson as PM and his cabinet of horrors. The flipside to this hell is that the more fucked up the world gets the more I experience beauty and magic and live in the moment. It’s a strange time especially as I appear to have finally met a man I am falling into a healthy relationship with and it’s markedly different to my previous relationships. This one is available. Actually expressing all his feelings kind of available and the strange this is I’m not feeling strong feelings that are propelling me into a relationship with him I’m more just shrugging my shoulders and surrendering to something that in my heart I know is what I need. As the world burns my personal life finally feels like it’s getting into the right position. Ah well, you can’t have it all.
It’s the guy from work who I was trying not to sleep with. I managed to hold out until last Saturday and he came round and I just lay on the sofa with my legs on his and he rubbed my legs and feet. Then he kissed me and it was good. He’s really affectionate and sensual. I can’t fault him on that. This time I have no expectations, no fear, no jealousy. I almost feel nothing which feels good. Hard to explain... peaceful, calm. Cherished but not chased. Plus he’s Spanish. Never expected that.
