11:22 p.m. - Monday, Apr. 22, 2019
The lost ring
Been feeling anxious for a couple of weeks now. Waking up anxious. I can’t figure out why. Something is nagging away at me. It might be the feeling of being in limbo and loneliness. Just feel like I’m waiting for things to pass and then I get anxious that I’m wasting my life. Turning 41 could also be panic inducing.
Just had 4 days off and instead of doing something fun I studied the Spanish and wasted more time.
Had some uplifting news last night though, Vinnie said he might come to Madrid in July for a music festival with his brother and possibly his 13 year old nephew. Of course I offered to put them all up in my two bedroom apartment. He said I was loco. But in the best possible way. I told him I was probably just lonely and wanted visitors.
I have to start dating again or leaving the house. I can’t obsess over this guy who I barely know 4000 miles away just because I don’t make the effort to meet anyone else.
I lost my ring momentarily today at work. I only noticed at lunch when I subconsciously went to fiddle with it. It’s quite a shock when something you’ve worn on your right finger everyday since you were 18 is suddenly gone. It does fall off only when I dry my hands and I pull it off with the towel but I always notice because it falls on the floor with a chime. So I figured out it must be in the bin in the ladies toilet. I almost resigned myself to never seeing it again, afterall the cleaning ladies are really on top of things there, but I was OK with that, I could enjoy looking for a new ring but I had to try and retrieve it. So I was rifling through all the used paper towels in the bin looking a bit mad (Luckily only one girl I know saw me and I told her what had happened). Anyway, amazingly I didn’t have to look for long, there it was in the bottom of the bin! Part of me that ring is... I think there’s something in letting go of something you’ve lost mentally and psychologically. Like the earring I lost. They come back to you.
