11:40 a.m. - Tuesday, Jan. 29, 2019
Vinnie
I'm on a comedown. Had a great weekend with a guy I met from Chicago called Vinnie. We connected on Bumble on Friday and I met him after a gig. I knew he was going to be a character from his profile. He's an artist and from Chicago, so of course he was going to be interesting. So I waited for him to come out of his hotel and met him outside Burger Kong. First thing I noticed was how short he was. We went to get a drink although he doesn't drink alcohol. We had a lot to talk about, we got into the subject of psychedelics almost immediately and he said he'd done DMT 7 times. We really had a lot of common interests and he is funny. Quite a character, very charismatic. Made me realise how boring most people are. So yeah we hit it off and I invited him back to my flat. I didn't fancy him but I was really enjoy his company. It got to about 5am and I was really tired. He then came onto me and I wasn't feeling it. I wanted him to stay and go at the same time. Basically I didn't want to have sex with him but I knew I couldn't have him in my bed as he was really horny. I felt really bad kicking him out and I had him going out the door at one point and somehow he managed to stay and ended up on my bed. I gave up them and just went with it. I can get quite shy and we had just met. It was all a bit overwhelming. So we ended up spending the whole weekend together. We went out to a bar very close to my flat and took some MDMA and danced. We didn't get much sleep overall and yesterday he left for Barcelona. He's here on a birthday trip to see his favourite art. He just turned 31 but he seems older. He's lived a pretty crazy life, living in LA doing LSD at CalArts and making crazy short films. He's incredibly watchable in his films.
He's made quite an impression on me unfortunately... I'm a little bit worried because I am already missing him. I am planning to go to visit him on Chicago this year. I always had a thing about Chicago. Always wanted to go but never thought I would. A weird spooky thing happened, I had a sudden urge to open an art deco book I had on my coffee table and see if there were any photos of art deco buildings in Chicago. There was one and I showed it to him and he said it was crazy I was showing him a photo of the building where his Dad's showroom was. His Dad is a big deal in the design world designing incredibly expensive kitchens. Vinnie just started working for him. Yeah it feels pretty mad that we met. He's definitely a kindred spirit. He said he would cut short his time in Barcelona and come back to Madrid to spend more time with me. I want that but perhaps it's not a good idea. I've already developed an attachment I think and if we bond any more it's going to be a nightmare. He lives so fucking far away. It's just pointless to take it further emotionally. Damn why do I make my life so complicated????????
