8:03 p.m. - Saturday, Nov. 10, 2018
just a rant
I am obsessed with food at the moment. I spent Friday night in making veggie burgers and chocolate rice cake thins and bread dough. So much washing up to do. It felt good to be freezing loads of time saving burgers. I can see why people spend a day of the week batch cooking I guess, but I think this desire to be SO in control of your life down to the minute detail is a sign of feeling like everything else that is out of our control is actually 'out of control.' American politics and their gun violence and in the UK, Brexit and knife crime. I don't write about politics on here much because I am so self obsessed and just trying to sort my own thoughts, but I do spend an awful lot of time reading about world events and I should reflect on that a bit more. Things are seemingly bad, across Europe the populism style of politics is taking hold. Merkel is stepping down, so who knows what will happen next. I think she made a mistake with her open door policy on immigration but she seems to be a strong and steady leader with a level head most of the time. Spain is doing OK, fascism is being kept in check for now. But bloody Brexit... it is such a mess. It's surreal that we are doing this to ourselves. It's unworkable but still Theresa May insists we are leaving. However, Jo Johnson (BoJo's brother) resigned from his government position because he says Brexit is not turning out very well afterall. It feels like a significant resignation, his article crystalised what many people think including others in the Tory party, so maybe more will jump ship. Corbyn is bloody useless, we have no opposition to this bunch of nutters coz he wants to leave the EU and the DUP hold power with 10 party members and this is causing big problems in N.I. they still have no government after 18 months or something. The N.I border is impossible to resolve, it will cause the troubles to start up again if it is implemented. Just so many problems, food stockpiling, medicine stockpiling... I might need a visa to come to and from Spain. As it i looking like a no deal Brexit. Right now I am predicting that we will get a second referendum OR we will crash out. Anyway, Russia made this happen. Troll farm, big data etc. Fucking tragic they are playing us and the US like mugs. Sometimes I think I should just give up on news. It would make me happier and more productive.
I'm meeting my friend for a drink later. It's already 8pm and I want to go out now but this is Spain, so I have to wait for a couple of hours, by that point I won't want to go out! I'm BRITISH. Been in all day, did a little bit of painting and watched a documentary about polyamorous couples in Portlandia. Freaks. These people are always unattractive too. Why can't they just have an affair like normal people do. It's all so deeply unsexy for some reason.
Tomorrow I am going to the theatre by myself to see a one man play touring from the UK. It's about an autobiographical account of the guy's breakdown from having Bi polar. Made me think of Dan. I want to see how he gets a happy ending. I'm feeling much more comfortable about doing stuff on my own these days. I could try and go out to a bar on my own but that doesn't appeal. It's alright when you're travelling. Its like entering a different world when it's framed by the travel context. I can't really go and sit at a bar in Madrid and wait for someone to talk to me, I'll feel like a high class prostitute.
