3:10 p.m. - Sunday, Oct. 28, 2018
Autumn update
Been very busy with that last job, too busy to write updates on my life. I had to work til 3am two days in a row and still had to go in for 9.30am the next day. So 4 hours sleep those nights left me zombie like. No official OT paid but I asked for a days holiday and they said yes. Don't ask you don't get huh. Returned to Madrid end of September absolutely exhausted.
So a quick update - Inevitably Daniel and I broke up proper. After a night out and after a bit of the other he told me he was getting married. I just laughed. His Auntie found him a virgin wife in Albania. He met her once whilst on holidays there slaughtering goats etc. He doesn't believe in love apparently. So I didn't see him again after that and came back to Madrid. Then he called me a couple of weeks ago and said he was the most fucked up person in the world and had lost the one person he really loved because of his pride (Not me, his ex). He had finished the relationship with the 'love of his life' a couple of years previously because he felt like she and her family thought he wasn't good enough as she was from a rich family. So he told her to marry some other guy and she did. They subsequently had an affair. He told me she's pregnant with her husband's child and he's upset. Oh well.
My flatmate had moved out by the time I got back to Madrid, so now I live alone. The rent is really cheap for the area. I live in a very expensive neighbourhood. Can't believe my luck. I've moved out of the studio and made her old room a studio. It's so gorgeous, the light is amazing. I got moved by a hunky Hungarian and I might contact him again to get him round to help me move some heavy furniture and put up some shelves. I don't really have designs on him but he seems nice and interesting and I just want to know more people here.
I had a Venezuelan guy come over the other week at 1am. Really dodgy of me but I was feeling reckless and he looked hot on the app photos. He was absolutely fine and safe. A bit of a wild guy sexually and really into me. I couldn't really get into it. I need to know someone for more than an hour before I have sex with them. I'm figuring this stuff out through experience. I think I need to try a few more flings coz I know I want to settle down at some point in the near future but I have to get a lot out of my system otherwise I won't be able to commit to the right man. Anyway he's a really good photographer and wants to take some pics of me. I have a feeling I'm not gonna hear from him again though. He's away on a job for a few weeks. To be honest I was relieved when he told me he wouldn't be in the city for a while. I don't think I have the energy for him.
I went back to London last weekend for a good friend's wedding. I was really looking forward to seeing Omar, a friend of that bunch of Uni friends that all know my ex from way back. He came to my 40th birthday party and I was so touched. I felt a bit bad that I was there with Daniel, coz I reckon we would have ended up together if I had been single... at one point on that holiday in Sardinia with Daniel when he made me cry I decided I wanted to be with Omar and planned to write to him after the holiday to declare my undying love... haha. Glad I didn't, more sensible to just wait until the wedding and see.
So Omar and I hung out at the wedding party, turns out he's vegan. Which makes me love him a little bit more. At the end of the night we were the last two partying and drinking, as ever. I've known him nearly 20 years but we've only met each other about 5 times I think. We often end up getting wasted together and drinking till dawn. I was always very fond of him. He is a great guy. Lovely, genuine, funny and laid back. Not really obviously hot though, but all the good guys aren't.
He invited me back to his hotel as it was nearby and we got some G&T's in cans. He even went out a second time to get a bag of ice. I said not to bother but he insisted. I like that. Appreciates the finer things in life.
I feel very comfortable with him but it was a bit weird being sexual with a mate. He's a good kisser and all that but I don't fancy the pants off him - yet. I think I could if I got to know him better. I just worry that I am only really into transgressive sex. I need therapy...
He's so perfect for me. He ticks all the boxes and he makes me laugh. I love that I've known him for so long and the fact that he knows my friends and they all love him. So I know he's a great guy, he's validated! As exciting as it is to meet someone completely new you just don't have a clue if they are going to be trouble. You don't know if they are gonna turn out to be a bit weird or insecure or obsessed. I was always envious of people that got together with their partners when they were young and grew together within a nice group of friends. I could be really happy with him I think. If I could just sort my own fears out. I asked him about girlfriends coz I have never known him to have one, not that I would because I barely saw him, but he was a bit vague and said he had 'moments' with girls and that he had more time to do stuff being single. Lol. I think we are very similar. Anyway he lives in Birmingham (yes he has a strong accent), so I dunno what could happen. I'm fantasising about him coming to live with me in Spain. He just got his Irish passport through as he is half Irish, so he could after Brexit! I know I am getting a bit carried away. I don't even know how I feel about him, but he seems like an obvious choice right now. I told him to come to Madrid and come and see Johnny Marr with me. He just said 'thanks for the invite!' and then nothing else. Flights are really cheap at the mo from Birmingham too. I just need to spend more time with him and see.
Daniel was messaging me last night just to confuse me further. Saying he had had some crap sex since we were together and it just wasn't comparable to being with me. Said he would have married me if we were the same age. Well I would not have married him. Then he sent me a pic of him in bed. I dunno what he is playing at. Narcissist. Omar is so the opposite. He's the good guy. I just can't resist a bit of a bad boy though. Damn myself!
Went to a great little festival near my flat last night, it's €25 for the whole weekend with some great new acts from all over the world. I am going again tonight to see my new fave band Alaskalaska. From South London of course. Last night the best act was Jimothy Lacoste. He's this young lad from Camden that does jokey rapping over Lo fi beats and has some charming videos. He's a real character. At one point a girl from the audience jumped on top of him and stuck her tongue down his throat. OMG. haha. That's sexual harassment! A guy couldn't do that to a woman. He's only little as well. I thought she was gonna break him.
