11:38 p.m. - Sunday, Dec. 31, 2017
Happy New Year
Less than half an hour until midnight new year and I am alone in my old house with the cats feeling melancholy. It’s only because I went out last night until 5am. A brilliant night of great live music, DJs and a bit of mayhem and performance art. I saw a group of performers called the United Kult of Animist Endgame Apostles whose music and performance seemed the perfect primal pained response to the shitty year we just had. Screaming, masks, clay slip being smeared over the audience... not your average night out. It was pretty intense, full on for a whole hour with no let up in the intensity of the show. Also saw T*maga - my friend’s duo. Him on synth and a really amazing girl drummer.
So that was my night out and I can’t summon the enthusiasm for another tonight. I am tired. I am reflective and I am an introvert. I am a bit sad too. My life is changing and my friends lives changed a while ago. People moved away and some settled down. I realised I have to make an effort to make new friends this year. It’s a new chapter and I want to make friends with positive influence in my life. I have been drawn towards emotional vampires and attract the weirdos. I have to change my attitude and approach. Start again, fresh. It would be nice to have a boyfriend. I probably would have gone out tonight if I had a partner, as lame as that sounds, it would be more of an attractive option to go out if I had someone to lean on and go home with. I just didn’t fancy going the other side of town and wanting to come home early alone. I am 40 this year! I want a bit more comfort and support in my life. I am ready to fall in love again!!!
Happy new year and RIP Daniel. The best and most bright but most troubled soul I ever knew. Miss you.
