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12:18 a.m. - Thursday, Dec. 28, 2017
Stay away from the crazy people
I finally had to block the crazy Spanish guy. He was sending me messages all the time. Today he sent me 62 in half an hour. I have just been ignoring them but he knows I read them and asked me to block him. He’s a fucking mess over me. He talks so much crap, psycho babble. He may speak the truth many times, he may have me sussed out, I cannot deny that but I don’t want to be with him. He diagnosed me as asperger ffs. I don’t want to be with someone who can totally figure me out or thinks they can. I want some space. Some mystery is good.
Just realised this evening that my Mum has some mental and psychological problems (don’t we all). Hate to use the term but I will... it looks like a ‘toxic relationship’ I have with her. She is just never happy, whatever my Dad does for her. She doesn’t have her own interests and seems so frustrated. It always comes out at Christmas. Usually when she seems to be happy and relaxed she just flips and gets angry over nothing. I wish she would go to therapy but her generation see it as a weakness. I think I should though. I definitely have issues around my relationships and relating to my family. I wonder what subtle effect my Mum’s moods have had on me over the years.
Hot Portuguese guy is definitely not into me. I sent him some messages earlier about buying some crypto currency and hoped the conversation might turn to something more sexy but nada.
I messaged a gorgeous Spaniard on Plenty of Fish last night and heard nothing back yet. Probably an old abandoned profile. Feels weird to have nothing going on. No one to wait for messages from. All alone again, I should try and get used to it. Managed before. But I hate having no man at all to at least think about and share the odd thought with.

 

 

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