11:27 p.m. - Saturday, Dec. 23, 2017
Love em and leave em
Just read my last entry and I sound like a teenager. Cringe.
On Thursday my landlady cooked a winter solstice dinner for me and her psychic friend. I was ten minutes late because i had been in town Christmas shopping with the hot Portuguese guy. Work let us out early coz we had finished the film. Still had no idea what he was feeling when I took the bus home. Psychic friend arrived about 20 minutes later and landlady was a bit pissed off coz she is always being difficult and letting her down. She had prepared dinner for 8pm sharp and so it had to be reheated. She asked me if I wanted stuffing (ooer) and much hilarity erupted and she filled psychic medium in on my night of passion. We were planning on having a solstice ritual but the evening just turned into these two older more experienced women advising me on how to get another shag... that night. It was critical that I at least tried to see him that night because I couldn’t bear to leave it until our last day at work and then some awkward moves on my part to sleep with him the day before i left. I really didn’t want to be getting a cab back from his to collect my luggage and then rush to the train station with a hangover on Saturday. No way. I was going to be very sensible and in control, but that could only happen if I attempted to sleep with him that night. Psychic medium (who used to be a dominatrix) told me to send him an erotic text telling him I was gonna come over and do something to his cock with my mouth. I decided not to do that as there was no need. Instead I asked him what he was up to tonight and after 10 excruciating minutes he replied “just cooking some food, what did you have in mind?” I said “I could come over for dessert.” So corny. But it worked.
So I didn’t rush round there straight away but spent my last night with the ladies and then got a cab to his. Fuck it was a relief to take control of the situation. I really wasn’t sure if he even fancied me. But psychic medium said “if he kissed you he likes you and if he had sex with you in the morning he definitely fancies you.”
So when I got there h was watching a film which conveniently stopped playing due to a technical hitch and I said “oh what shall we do now.” Jesus it was like some shitty porno, my lines... anyway he started to kiss me on the sofa, then we went upstairs and put some music on and had a very nice standing cuddle/kissing/dancing time then loads of foreplay and great sex. I dunno if it’s because we were sober but I really like sex with him, shame he’s a bit arrogant and materialistic and likes Pearl Jam and the Red Hot Chili Peppers “best bands of the nineties” hmm, went a bit off him then. Lol.
It’s very lovely sensual slow sex, but that might be because we were both tired from our punishing work schedule, he’s quite small but perfectly formed. Boyish but with a pretty big dick. But it didn’t feel uncomfortable, felt amazing actually. Must be because I was relaxed and fancied him. It’s more the context that made him sexy. I just wanted him at work and knew he was single and it just made sense to have sex. He didn’t cuddle me after or show me any affection though. He did make me a great breakfast however.
Next day we didn’t have to be in until midday. I caught the bus and he was gonna go climbing first but he ended up coming in just after me so it still looked like we had arrived together. The team went straight out to the pub and had a celebratory lunch which was horrible and took about two hours to arrive. Really chavvy pub... food was pretty crap. Anyway when we got back to work we were told we could go home and I dunno how he did it but Portuguese guy left so fast I wasn’t even sure he had gone. I think he was trying to get away from me! You would think he would have said goodbye to everyone, what with him being so popular and friendly. I don’t really get it. I just wanted sex, I don’t want a relationship, it’s not even possible because we live in different countries. I don’t think I came across as a bunny boiler! I gave him some compliments about how sexy he was (he gave me none) and last night in the pub he barely spoke to me. It was a bit awkward. It’s kinda ruined our friendship now. Then we all said our goodbyes and we had a hug and he said “we had fun didn’t we?” And I said “if you’re ever in Madrid...” and he said “yeah and looks like I am sticking around in Bristol..” fuck knows what he thinks. He is a bit hard to read. I just want to know if he would be up for more casual sex or if he thinks I am actually old and gross or he is worried I want his babies... Maybe my ego is a bit bruised, which is fine. I break people’s hearts a lot, time I got rejected.
