12:18 a.m. - Tuesday, Dec. 13, 2016
Work can go fuck itself
I think my days at work are numbered. I just cannot hide my disdain for the ineptness and some of the nerdy boring dickheads there. I am wearing my bad attitude on my sleeve now, I have simply given up caring. I feel better today though, as if I am surrendering to it all, whatever happens, happens. I am just an observer now. If it becomes unbearable I will just ask them to sack me so I can claim benefits until I find a new job or go back to London. My bitch of a supervisor appeared to be having a go at the girl in production which made me feel better. At least everyone else can see that she's bloody well out of order. So unprofessional to talk like that to people in an open plan office. Take it into a meeting room or at least the ladies loo for fucks sake.
I emailed the ex last night. At first I got a mail delivery failure message and my heart sank. Thought he had closed down his account, but I tried again and it went through. I'd included a capital letter in his email address that shouldn't have been there. I just need to know the truth, the situation, his feelings... True love never dies right? And love without trust is like a river without water. I read that on one of my tea bags. I like those little affirmations.
Decided today that I need to start my business, I have to get the ball rolling now. Working as an employee doesn't suit me. I'm going to get some cushions made up with my printed fabrics and make some cool floor lamps. I made one with a print of mine and it looks great. My sister sold a textile design to a furnishing fabric company recently, so my Mum told me. Really pleased for her but she hasn't contacted me for weeks, maybe a couple of months. Wish she would, also no one has been to visit me here. Sort of bothers me but I know they love me. People are so busy these days.
