1:03 p.m. - Saturday, Sept. 10, 2016
He left without me
He came for brunch and he just left. No mention of making plans later. I'm surprised at how panicked this makes me feel. I really rely on him for killing time at the weekend and just hanging out even without any affection shown is better then nothing. At least there is the potential of something. Now l am alone and scared l won't receive any hugs any time soon. It's been months since my last hug. I will die. I have to stay strong, l cannot let this prick plunge me back into depression. This rejection just highlights how starved l am of love and company and how distanced I am from everyone. l don't know when l will get that feeling of togetherness again. Why is he so cold? Doesn't he get lonely too? Maybe he is seeing his housemate, but l doubt it. From what l know he wouldn't go there, he wouldn't shit on his own doorstep. Oh well, l will pull myself together and go and walk around Madrid. Best cure for loneliness. Mother fucking Austrians!
