7:35 p.m. - Tuesday, Jun. 07, 2016
Back to hell (work)
I sort of hate my life today and I hate myself because I think it is my own fault my life sucks. It is failing on all fronts. I'm back at work, which I hate. I still don't have much to do... everyone in my department speaks Spanish to each other and I feel isolated. I find it hard enough to make friends in my own language in a work environment, so this is a nightmare. It's probably because a) I am quite shy sometimes (but only in situations where I feel I can't fully relax or be myself) b) I am slightly paranoid other women hate me and c) I struggle with small talk, especially with younger co workers. This place is something else though. It's fucking hard to infiltrate already formed groups and that paired with having nothing to do and no one to talk to I feel like I am disappearing. This is why I left the job in the first place. It's no better now. I am really worried about how my mental state will be if I stay there for too long. I know I need to grow up and make friends but I feel like I have painted myself into a corner. It's a bloody nightmare. I don't know what to do. Sometimes I think coming here was a huge mistake. Trashing my life in London... how can I go back? The idea off moving back in with my parents sounds quite appealing actually. At least I wouldn't be lonely. The only way I can cope with this is to detach myself from it all by smoking. This worries me. I need to stop worrying about it and just enjoy the easy life.
I got angry today. I rarely get angry but I was on a call to customer services - Iberia Express. They were supposed to refund me for a double booking I made on their website and when I called them in late April I was told the refund would take 4 weeks to process. So I called last week to chase it up and the girl said she didn't know why it hadn't been done and she would put it right and I should have my money in a few days. Of course I didn't get my money as promised so I called again and was told that they would process it but I would have to wait another 4-6 weeks! I gently explained that I needed the refund made immediately because I have no money and can't pay my rent (true) but the guy said he couldn't process it quicker. When I explained it wasn't fair to make me wait another 4 weeks due to their mistake he got really whiny like a teenager and said "it's not my fault! I don't know who you spoke to!" He even raised his voice. I was quite taken aback. I mean, i am the customer and they have my money, I think I have the right to be upset not him. I said to him, "i know it isn't YOUR fault but you represent Iberia customer services and this isn't good enough, can I speak to your superior please?" He said no and after more exasperating exchanges (I raised my voice a bit) he hung up on me! As bad as my life gets at least I don't have to listen to people like me yelling down the phone. It's obviously a scam. It shouldn't be possible or that easy to double book a flight. Other airlines don't let you book more than one in your name within 5 minutes or so I was told. So they get your money, promise you a refund but hold it in their bank for a month gaining interest - or two if they 'forget' to process it. They wouldn't send me an email confirmation of this refund either so I just have to trust this nameless person is going to do their job. I did eventually get through to someone more helpful who put in a request for a speedy refund but I am not hopeful. This could go on for months!
Ridiculous. Infuriates me when the only answer you get is "not possible" of course it's possible! I'm not an idiot!!!
