4:35 p.m. - Friday, May. 20, 2016
Career management
I am procrastinating again and feeling muddled. I want to apply for another position at work but I have the fear. Why am I such a coward? It really holds me back, that coupled with my shyness. I realised I struggle with speaking Spanish because I barely know what I want to say in English let alone Spanish.
So because I know how difficult and bitchy HR is I don't think they will like the fact that I want to change department. Also I don't have the relevant experience but I am counting on the fact they may not have had any suitable candidates. I am putting off asking for what I want because if the answer is no then I will feel even worse than I do now, which is not good. At least I will have tried. No harm in asking, my request for a salary negotiation got refused which made me angry. This company really knows how to make their employees feel unappreciated and powerless but in some ways we get treated well in the corporate sense. Relatively speaking. It feels like a pretty toxic environment to me, but I struggle with any overtly corporate environment. I need to just suck it up and focus on doing good stuff outside of work. I am far too sensitive. I need to toughen up.
